Do nothing in the Airport

When i have nothing can do in the Airport but only free WiFi for an hour time... Let's blog again! Is very long wait till my flight at 10:40pm. Checking the peoples rushing to queue for boarding, can't wait to go home meet their love one, an ending for their family trip and so on...

What about me? I'm waiting the time to go back the reality and start my working journey again. Gosh... isn't this getaway trip a little bit too short?! Just a 3D2N getaway to keep me revive from all the dumb things i did? Well... Life wasn't like what we wish to be.

Ring the bell, bell ringing
Queue to back, Queue to go
Journey start, journey end
Broken heart or Happy soul

People come, people gone
Fill with noise, left with peace
Look at left, look at right
No one else but me, myself

What's on mind, What's in heart
Clear your mind and ask your heart
Those you miss, have it gone
Those you care, have it stay

Word of wisdom, voice of wise
Where to go, Where to stay
Guide me through with your words
Lead me there with your voice

Here it is, here it is
The tiny star that shine in dark
Bring me there
A place called Home

Tired soul, tired heart
Get a rest, get some peace
Sky turns bright
You've reborn...

I'm really sleepy now waiting for my turn to boarding and i do hope to have good sleep tonight and not chasing whole night by ghost in dream anymore. When the sky turn bright again tomorrow, I have REBORN~  =) hope my broken manglish didn't bored you.

谈何容易的简简单单。。。

星期天   晴

坐在刚开市的咖啡厅里，有种格外的休闲感。
大家都闲着，聊着，懒洋洋着。。。
这就是所有人都需要的星期天。

生活、时事、情感，总是像天气般变换无常,
时阴、时晴、时好、时坏、时冷、时暖。。。
你又掌握得多熟练？

人生总少不了必要的挫折吧，
让你学着慢慢的长大，
成就了成熟、稳重、智慧且圆滑的你。

过程中，你有多少个身不由己的时候？
多少进退两难，痛彻心扉？
多少忍痛拭泪，不为人知的秘密？

你又因为身不由己而错过了什么？
因进退两难而放弃了什么，好让你痛彻心扉？
因谁而忍痛拭泪，把真相变成不为人知的秘密？

每个人都总说，我希望有个简简单单的人生。
简简单单，谈何容易。
你又领悟了多少？

当你拥有的是简简单单，你可否不贪婪拥有多一点？
当你拥有的不再简单时，你却又怀念起简简单单。。。
人与矛盾就像皮和肉，想分割清楚却很难。

很多的事情，不想再去强求。
既来之，则安之。
想说，我享受着一个人的宁静。
但，何时我又希望有个人在旁分享？
 

某个星期六 | 晴

忘了多久没有过这样的星期六。

也忘了我把闲着没事做的轻松抛弃多久。

坐在星巴克，空荡的遥望天空，

我深深的吸进一口气，再尽量弊着不放，

终于忍不住泄气了。。。

因此，眼中荡漾已久的水船也落下了。。。

凉风吹着，却有种伤感。

烟龙漂游，眼前何事真假。

刺鼻箊味，有如人生的哽咽。

人来人往，川流不息。

来的，抽着烟，皱着眉，

仿佛有着赶不走的烦恼。

坐的，拿着笔，挥动着，

仿佛很努力的在达成中。

谈的，对望着，欢笑中，

仿佛在苦闷中寻找欢乐。

伴的，沉默着，专心着，

仿佛为挑战在未雨绸缪。

老的，漫谈着，微笑着，

仿佛已看淡人世享受着。

单的，闲坐着，空荡着，

仿佛疲倦中能得到领悟。

走的，冲忙中，往前看，

仿佛害怕被社会给排斥。

在一番感言和细观后，还是得回到原来的轨道，

继续原本的道路。。。

努力的为未来活着吧~

A Wavy Night

Walking on the beach,
Feeling of the sand.
Looking at the side,
An old friend that i knew.
Nonsense on our mouth,
Memories in our mind.
Talk as our young time,
but felt that we are old.
Look at the kids,
running happily.
Look at the couples,
Lean against each other.
Look at the family,
Holding hand by hand.
Crafting on the sand,
Wash away by waves.
How long you can stay,
How far you can go.
The further i walk to the sea,
The deeper i get into it.
I'm far from the beach,
I'm blind in the sea.
I'm floating in between,
I'm losing of my way.
Listen to the waves,
slowly close my eyes.
What a silence night,
What a sadness night.

Rain Rain Rain...

Sitting on the couch,

Looking out the sky.

The sky is crying,

The wind is sighing.

Close my eyes,

Listen to my heart.

the melody of the tears,

giving me a calm.

Sigh from the wind,

freezing my cheek.

I'm standing in the cold,

but coldness from my heart.

A little of the warm,

Is the feeling from you.

Hugging me from back,

closer and tighter.

A smiling face appear,

a familiar voice at ears.

Touching on my face,

some words from you.

You will always be with me,

I will never be alone.

Tears dropping,

but from me not the sky.

You will never understand,

you will never believe.

Just a simple words,

but it's touching my heart.

Open my eyes,

just to see clearer.

Myself and me,

Still the only sitting here.

You are still not here,

there's no one hugging me.

You are just a dream,

which i willing to sleep for life.

Your sweetest memories yet the bitter

Do you know that i missing you so much?

I totally forgot how long i never hold you hand to walk.

How long i never kiss on you cheek before you leave for work.

How long i never jump on you when you back from work.

How long i never ask you to kiss my cheek.

How long i didn't sit on the bike with you.

How long i didn't cover myself under your jacket on the bike.

How long we never chit chat at the garden in front the house.

How long didn't go fishing with you.

How long never hear you scream at the dogs.

How long never see the shadow of your back.

How long i never tell you that i love you.

How long we never eat together on the same table.

How long we never go travel together.

I still remember a lots of our memories,

which is so sweet and warm to my heart.

Remember you hold my hand to zoo negara.

Remember you buy me my favorite porridge which need to queue for an hour.

Remember you send me to clinic when i fever.

Remember the way you carry me into the bedroom when i sick and weak.

Remember we eat banana together.

Remember i drink nestum with you after your mahjong session.

Remember the first time i buy you rojak.

Remember you always wait me outside when i off work.

Remember you never say anything even you waited me for an hour.

Remember the first time i cant contact you on your mobile.

Remember the first time i totally lost your news.

Remember i bought all the presents but i can't give it to you.

Remember how i meet you again and how excited i'm.

Remember the heart broken new that you admitted hospital cause illness.

Remember how sad i cook the porridge to you at that time.

Remember the last time when i leave the hospital.

Remember how you quietly follow at my back to see me the last time.

Remember i so innocents to escape from your eye sight cause want you to get rest.

Remember after that day i never see you looking at me anymore.

There are too much things that i remember.

I still feel the warm big hand of you holding my hand,

bring me to somewhere a playground.

Yes, is a dream.

And it only can happen in my dream now. =)

Waiting...

Slept for not more than an hour...

Clock tickling ... Air-cond blowing... Radio playing at the back...

Some playing with their iphone,

some busy with their works,

what about me? I'm unstopped looking at my phone.

Guess patience is a treasure that not much human have it.

Nope. My phone is not ringing but i just can't keep my eye away.

Today's time seems pass very slow, quietly, peacefully...

Mind is stuck, brain is stop, pictures of you passing through.

Tired mind, lazy body and a sour heart.

Be alone, quiet down, listen to your heart...

Do you hear your heart? Sincerely...

is dripping dripping and dripping... is blood ? or tears?

Air-cond blowing at my face,

So scare of my half open eyes to close,

and your faces will appear in the dark...

Stop thinking, stop looking

but just cant stop playback in my brain.

Try to focus but can't seems to focus,

Ended up lost my job.

Friend's concern, friend's advise,

but disappointed them at the end.

My New Living

Finally, i still have to move out from the previous place.

I'm now staying alone with 2 cats in a friend house.

Really appreciate on the help and happy to have true friends.

Is a rainy day, but i do nothing and just chill at home.

Staying with 2 of my cats,

was clearing my black head for an hour,

followed by a cold hydrating mask.

Oh my ~! Have been long time never enjoy this kind of lifestyle.

A fully rest and enjoy saturday for me.

Lazy to go out stuck in the busy commercial life,

yet enjoying my Saturday by do nothing,

but enjoying the cozy day.

Sometimes we are too busy to achieve and getting what we want.

But i believe a day of do nothing is a best day as well.

At least you get to rest your mind, soul and body as well.

Sometimes i do really need something like this to re-charge,

and continue to start fight for my future again.

Was still thinking the opportunity to oversea.

Should i leave or should i stay ?

Seriously i was hoping for this so long,

and now i got a chance and maybe not 100% but at least i can try.

I'm seriously tired and feel so miserable of all these days.

I'm quite lost but yet i still can see my direction covered by the thick haze.

I still no the same path but i do need a brand new start.

I do really hope i can get away from here,

have a brand new start.

Start at somewhere nobody knows me,

totally a new environment and culture to me.

With no limitation on the creativity.

To explore and wonder more and more which i never had before.

Even though i'm alone but i never scare.

All i want now is just that simple.

Maybe the only way to keep yourself happy is 'be simple'.

Maybe in our life we have too much things beyond control.

As i always said,

"We can't choose who we falling in love with,

but we can choose who to share our life with."

Feeling is very subjective and uncontrollable.

But sometimes we do need to back in the reality,

think rationally and logically, what's the next step to go.

We can't predict the future, but instead of waiting it to happen,

why don't i make a step to something under my control and manageable?

There is a voice always remind me when i wake up,

"Hey! you make a mistake. Get things right!"

Where did the voice come from?

Why it keep repeating in my mind?

The voice from guiltiness?

Guess i'm seriously not as cruel as what you see.

i'm blaming myself on the mistake everyday.

Most important, i'm worry at the same time.

I know myself well and it will become worse.

There is a never change theory in my mind set,

which is "You own it or you leave it!"

There is not 'sharing' in certain thing of my life.

If i can't own then i will choose to leave.

Should said, i shouldn't own in the first place if is not belongs to me.

But, i can still choose the journey i going on the next.

Sad yet helpless, and that is the way i should be.

Sometimes when you want to achieve something,

you have to pay with something else.

If i choose a brand new start,

and i going to pay with everything i have for now.

Does it worth?

Sometimes i have no choice if i did a mistake,

and guess this the only way to makes thing right.

God bless me on the journey i going to start.

Is a peaceful night

Can't really recall how long i never sit down at this living room till this late.Was very quiet, peaceful but... mosquitoes flying around as well ~

Time past extremely fast.

My little cutie pie, Ying En already 6 months old.

As a aunty of her, these 2 days is my first time so close with her.

Carry her around walking at shopping mall,

Playing with her and satisfied with her innocent laughter.

What else can be better than an innocent kid?

They are really straight forward with not cover or pretend,

Simple, easy to fulfill and free from stressful living.

Everyone hoping back to their kid's time as well,

Do you ?

When you look at their face,

they just very cute and chubby which makes your heart melted.

Their laughter could really brighten up your day.

You will never realize you become like a kid when you playing with them.

But... you still enjoy to do so,

because their smile and laughter just that amazing.

As the parent of the kid,

from the growing journey and your guardian to the kid,

the more you give, the more you uneasy to see them in suffer.

And also the more you hope to keep them with you as long as you can.

You will not understand the feeling before you become the father/mother.

So much of the memories they have it with you.

The path of growing up of you but growing older to them.

The taller and stronger you grown,

the older and weaker they become.

Reality world is just sad but true,

appreciate whatever we have and try to look around.

Something happened we couldn't change.

Stop blaming yourself or others,

and make the right move to get things better before it's too late.

We always miss a lot of chance and opportunity.

We always rounding at the same circle when we did mistake.

Try to walk out of the circle and get the right move.

Appreciate your life, appreciate your true friend,

appreciate your family and no matter what,

you have to try your best to protect it because you form a 'Family' of yours.

My Twi-Furrie kids...

Is a long day to me...

Today is the fiercest day in ghost month...

Quite bad luck and things not going smooth today too...

Slept really late last night and after work is my school time...

Whole day was thinking of moving house,

How to get extra money, save money for car,

how my life will change, how i drive to work or school and so on...

Back home with tired mind and body,

wash my feet, boil water and yes... maggi time again!

After filling up my noisy stomach,

is time to rest on the bed and help my brother to 'do up' his profile.

At this moment, my two little furrie kids come in to my room.

They just like to disturb me doing work

or took my whole bed by sleeping in the middle of my single bed size mattress.

Is time to teach them some lesson!

I don't bother much, try to sleepy on them to scare them away...

ahahahaha...

One of them go to the left which sitting on my blanket,

the other one go to the right sitting and looking at me.

Both of them clean themselves as usual,

slowly laying down and cuddle themselves to sleep.

One fatty furry balls at the left and another slightly tiny at the right.

Look at their sleeping tight expression,

really melt my heart.

I feel happy to keep them with me for my days.

All this wash away my tired and my fustrated =)

i know they fur is bad for my health,

but i just love them and i will keep them till the day they leave me.

Which is the day i will be very sad =)

Moment Of The Feeling...

Have you ever experience the moment that you wish to freeze it?

It might not related to any emotion or interaction.

It can be a very simple action that caught your attention,

you feel it very beautiful and the feeling is only appear in that moment.

I'm not good in photography.

I'm also not good in photoshop that can fine tune the photos.

I'm just a noob that have some weird feeling towards certain thing,

and i really wish to capture all the moment of the feeling i have...

Still remember i was having lunch downstairs with my colleagues,

The rain heavily pour in sudden...

The ceiling is 5 to 6 floor high up there and it's leaking.

When i put my head up and looking at the ceiling up there,

It's so amazing that i never thought of before!

The lines created by the angle of the building and the checked glass ceiling.

It's just so amazing to look up that way.

Following with a drip of water falling down...

From such a height slowly slowly coming to your eye sight and fall on the table.

I was so impress and stunt with what i saw.

Seriously most of you might thing it's just so normal and stupid.

What so amazing about it?!

But i just have the kind of feeling at that moment.

Looking at the water drips from the glass ceiling.

From a small little dot slowly become big and bigger.

The shape is not fix but somehow you can tell is round and just like a drip of water.

Nothing much but the changes of the shape when it fall,

It's just something i never thought of can be such an amazing view.

Is really very hard to describe the feeling of looking at the water drips.

Somehow it really caught my attention.

I would really like to capture that moment down and the feeling as well.

I love photography but i don't know much about it.

I love it cause i would like to use it to capture all the moment i appreciate.

All the feeling i wish to remember.

Every little single feeling given by the nature's changes.

How much time do i still have to get all this done?

I just hope that when i get older and really old that time,

I can sit down and look at my photography,

recall all those feeling and moment that i have captured.

Of course, i wish to have companion to share on this as well.

But how easy can you get someone to share this kind of feeling?

I just want to do what i think is right.

It may sounds stupid to most of you but ...

at least i did what i want with no regrets in my life. =)

What a mind thought

Sitting at Starbucks, Empire Gallery Subang alone.

listening to the 80's music,

classic and calm.

A lot of my past flashing in my mind.

It makes me understand all the thing i going through...

is just reflection of my younger life.

God is fair to everyone.

How you hurt people and you will know the feeling one day.

How you love a person, and you will get the love as well.

Be neutral, be yourself, be what you want.

We don't know how many people has passing by in our life.

How many of the heart broken is because of us.

How many of the laughter is because of us.

How bright is the sunshine we have gave to others.

We always blame that life is unfair.

Complain and compare with others.

Have we think of what have we done before?

Is our attitude as bad as others before we comment?

I always believes in Karma.

Maybe you don't see the pain when other are hurts.

But you will understand one day.

As i always said, if one day you get what i mean,

and you still remember me, please give me a call.

Tell me that you finally understand what i meant.

And seriously i got a call from a friend about this before. =P

This is life.

Some people will apply it on relationship,

that's why they hate people who become 3rd party.

Some people apply it on work,

therefore there appear office politic.

Some people apply it on their family,

that's the reason there are some broken and sweet family around.

How you look at your life, your career, your family and your love?

Believes all of us did complain a lots about mentioned above.

While we complain about it,

do we really calm down ourselves, find out the way.

What caused this happen?

Is very hard for us to do so,

that's why there is a chinese sentence said...

The one in the situation lost and the outsider have a clear view.

If you are chinese educated,

don't waste all the sentences you learn.

Use it in your life, try to get yourself walk to a better way.

All the sentences have their own meaning.

Is just depends how you look at it and will you still remember it.

Sometimes be alone is quite sad and lonely,

but look it at the other way.

You have a clear and calm mind,

listen to music, observing around you.

It can be another kind of experience in your life.

I like to write, like to talk.

Maybe i just too much but i like to share my feeling.

Sometimes we are just too worries on how others look at us.

What's wrong with eating a burger with no vegetables at all?

What's wrong to have nasi lemak without sambal?

Sometimes we can't control what we suppose to do at work.

But please give some break to yourself.

Do something to pamper yourself.

Be yourself and enjoy what you like, what you want.

Everyone have their own personality and character.

You will get someone who admire you just because you are in your own way.

Not everyone will into you,

but believes in fate.

If your fate not meeting anyone in your life...

too bad, we can't do much.

Just accept it. hahahaha

Life is short.

We don't know what will happen the next.

Please think through and appreciate everything of yours.

The family, the one you loves, your friends, your life.

Don't lose yourself in your life,

you know that you are just amazing as you are. =)

我所知道的事。。。

喜欢陶吉吉的爱很简单，因为歌词很适合。

“忘了是怎么开始，也许就是对你有一种感觉，

忽然间发现自己，已深深爱上你，真的很简单。。。

没有后悔日夜为爱去追随，那个疯狂的人是我。

I Love You"

真的有点忘了我们如何开始。

觉得就像那首歌的歌词那样，

当我忽然发现时，已经深深地爱上你了。

从开始时，每天都像连体婴那样出出进进。

每天都要见面，都很甜蜜。

可是，我们有了第一次的争吵。

还有点儿严重那样，大家都睡不了。

可是啊，有谁会完全适合对方呢？

我们大家找个协调的方法解决了。

我们没有因为争吵而放弃。

我觉得我们可以做的更好~！

还记得我第一次对你发神经的讯息吗？

你还一头雾那样的不懂我为什么那样，

对我第一次大喊，还关了电话。。。

第一次，你看了我的解释的信息后，

来到我家对我道歉，还流下了你第一次的泪。

当然你这个臭脾气的大番薯怎可能之后就风平浪静呢。

我们有了第二、第三、第四和不断的争吵。

我想啊，那段时间应该是你人生算蛮低潮的时候吧。

没了工作、没了安全感、压力很大吧。

看着你，却让我想要把你好好照顾的想法。

我开始尝试在你努力找工的同时，

我努力的为你煲汤、煮饭，给你需要的支持。

尽我所能得帮忙，要一起牵手度过。

陪在你身边，好让你知道，怎么都好。。。

还有我在你身边支持你，陪你一起过。

可能对你而言，这是一段难过的回忆。

可是，对我而言却是甘甜的回忆。

我们除了有苦涩，还有着甜，

回头看，还是觉得是甘甜的

慢慢的，你变了~

越变越多。。。从小番薯变成大番薯。。。

从漏气的肚腩变成充气球。。。

从那尖型变成圆型的脸蛋和下巴。。。

不过，这一切的改变我并没有嫌弃，

反而我越来越爱你。

不止是外表，而你的内在也一样。

你变得不再对我大声说话，更关心我，

比起以前更细心、更爱我了。

这一切我都感觉得到，

当我现在回想这一切时，还真的流泪了。

你从来不知道，我多么的渴望得到你的肯定，

听见与看见你对我所承诺的。

多么 多么的想看见那一切一切实现的那一刻。

你不懂我有多么的喜欢在车里靠着你的肩膀，

看着那满是星星的夜空。

也许我们还没有机会去旅行，可是那种感觉好舒服。

你啊，就像番薯那样的笨。

你不懂在我伤心流泪的那一刻，我感觉到。。。

你已不像以前那样觉得压力而逃避，

你现在是要我把头靠在你的肩、

紧紧地握着我的手，然后抚摸着我的泪湿的脸庞。

好像在告诉我，你都知道我的感受。

有你在这里，你会让一切都变好，我不需再难过。

你不会明白那种感觉对我来说，是多么的温暖、

多么的可靠、多么的想就这样一辈子的依赖下去。

因为你的改变，让我失控了。

你对我而言已经比自己还重要。

可是，你这一切的改变，却让我承受不了失去你的痛。

除外，也让我开始自私的要把你独占。

而我想，我的这个改变为我们带来了很多烦恼。

我们开始乱了。。。

一切的平静，有了涟漪。

这一切却让我看到了，我想得到却会因此而失去。

我爱的太凶，却把你吓走。

对大家造成了压力，我也变成了你的负担。

写着、写着，我的泪却停不了。

伤感、感触、感动、激动、开心。。。

回想起之前你告诉我，你觉得你疼我多过她时，

我把这当了你会留在我身边的唯一希望。

有时候真的好想简简单单，只有两个人，

手牵手的一直走下去。

不管什么困难或欢乐，都一起牵手度过。

真正的完成两个字。。。

那就是 “我们”

The working weekend at Genting

This weekend is my 1st working weekend at Genting.
Actually is a relax and easy manage job task,
i guess the tough part is how to spend the few hours in between the 1st and 2nd performance. LOL
Today, we have no more room to stay in and now sitting at Mc D,
spending our free time, listening to the screaming from Theme park,
looking at those peoples who same as us,
no way to go and sitting here to online and wait for time.

There are some feeling that i experience yesterday and it was so familiar to me.
Has been a long time i never walk around Genting by my own.
There are few different kind of feeling attacked me.
Calm because i'm alone and nobody knows me.
Cold and refreshing because of the weather and air up here.
Lonely, because there are no beloved with me.
Missing, because i'm consider away from the usual place i was.

I do really miss some kind of feeling, especially during midnite after the show and we walking back to our hotel room.
Windy night, but no one holding my hand & can't rely on a strong arm.
Walking in the cold air but there is no one hugging me from the back,
or no one wrapping the hand around my shoulder.
There is no one try to make my hand warm when it freezing cold.
This is the feeling i got when you are not around.
Not that i can't be alone or independent.
But just that i feel glad to have this kind of feeling towards you.
It's proof to me that you are important to me,
and i do really love you in every minutes and seconds.
You might not have the same feeling or you might have,
but i appreciate the time we have.

Looking at the clock, tickling slowly...
Try to get my eye sight out of my lappy,
guess what i saw?
Karen Tann with bored face sitting in front of me do nothing.
Oh my gosh, we are just don't know what else to do here.
She playing with her iphone 4 and i SWEAR i will get my HTC incredible S... One day .. LOL

Time oh time... my heart is like locking in a cage,
Desperate for seeing your face, talking to you and feel you with touching the precious face that i love so much.
What will my future lead me to?
How far can we go and how much time we still left?
I will try my best to treasure every second ...
I Love You... Yes, I do... =)

My Sunday ~

Is a sunny Sunday...
Guess most of the liverpool fans already in Bukit Jalil,
waiting to see the legend players in the game.

Sunday is still a Sunday.
Family day. Shopping day. Gathering. Outing with friends and others.
Shopping malls are just peak and everyone fighting for car park as well.
This is the life in City.

Sometimes i do really enjoy the life in smaller town.
With more green and the people with more humanity.
Missing those places that can really relax, chill and calm.
Even back to my hometown, i will feel better.
Yes, no doubt, Seremban not much entertainment,
maybe is boring for some of you.
But for me, it's just nice.
Even though got nothing much can do in Seremban,
but i guess stay home is just another way of enjoy for me.

Suppose to do grocery shopping today,
but just lazy to be sardine with the rest.
Maybe dinner time will be the best.
At this moment, i do nothing.
But don't get me wrong,
i'm not complaining boring to stay home.
I just enjoy the quietness,
putting on the headphone,
listening to my usual emo music,
but yet i still can hear the noise from that table fan
and.........
snoring !!!

I think the best for me is when i turn around,
see the naive, stress free kiddish sleeping face...
Guess the most naive face is when fall as sleep.
When you look at the one you love when they are as sleep,
will you feel like pamper them,kiss on the cheek
and feel the sweetness of just look at the face?
Have you experience the same thing with me?

I guess the feeling depends on person as well.
What you feel when you look at your parent's sleeping face?
Yes, still quiet and calm.
But there are some other feeling that make me sad and heart ache.
Their face just full of wrinkles which drew by the life path...
caused by the worries and hardwork on bringing us up.
But what have you returns them?
More heart ache and worries?
I trying very hard to give my mom whatever i can.
Unfortunately the only thing she wanted and i can't fulfill her is...
she want me to stay together at Seremban.
Hopefully i can get a house and make her stay with me no matter where.
At least she can see me everyday,
crossing my life and not like now.
But i knew she will not want to stay with me... =)

Sometimes human is just complicated.
We want everything.
Everyone is just greedy to have everything, included
happy marriage or love life, but at the same time,
we want our career as well.
How about your family? We wish to spend time with family as well.
Human just complicated.
If i could make a wish,
i guess i just want to be a simple woman,
who have a simple life, have a job to get income for living.
Cooking at home for family after work.
Chit Chat with the family and the love one after dinner.
Have some memorable trip.
Simple yet meaningful.
I guess this is what i really wish to have.
What about you?
Try to empty yourself and have a think.
It could be a good way to find yourself from lost. =)

如何衡量爱？

爱，如何去衡量？
有的人会说，他们爱他的另一半比较多。
有的人却说，他们的另一半爱他们较多。
到底哪一个情况会较幸福呢？
很多人在这样的问和想。

其实啊，很多人都很享受爱的过程。
其实，不管是你爱着他，或他爱着你，
谁爱谁比较多，其实能爱上一个人，可以相爱，
不就已经是一种幸福了吗？

能为你爱的人而努力、付出，你不觉得开心吗？
当你爱上了，
很自然的，你会想为他分担、一起努力、为他付出，
让他充满着笑容和欢乐。
看到这一些，你不就已经很满足和开心了吗？

既然你决定了去爱他，就不要计较。
可能有时候很难办到吧。
可是，当你想想。。。
你和他一起经过的日子里，
你为他付出和做了些什么，你真的还能记得吗？
因为我们从心里全心全意的付出，而不是期望回报。
既然这样，你又怎么还算的了呢？

可是，他为你所做的事其实你都知道。
可是人啊，有时候总会不自觉的想要更多。
回想起来，其实是否自己开始贪心，
而忘了他所为你做过的事呢？

有的人，因为他们有条件选择，
他们开始衡量谁会为他们付出较多。
想想这一切，如果你不爱那个人，
他能为你付出一切，甚至生命。
你觉得你选了和他一起，但并不是因为爱。。
你会幸福吗？

人啊都是感情动物，都是感性的。。。
很多人因为适应了或习惯了那种生活，
就算他们明白这不是他们要的，
可是他们却走不出那个习惯的圈子。害怕去改变
不止发生在感情，
其实在工作上，我可就是一个好例子。。。

其实，本人很喜欢王菲的执迷不悔。。
还记得有几句歌词很有意思。。
‘这一次我执着面对，任性的沉醉，
我并不在乎，这是错还是对。
别说我应该放弃，应该睁开眼。
我用我的心，去看、去感觉。
你并不是我，又怎能了解。’
有些事情啊，真的没人比你自己清楚，
你爱的是谁，你有多爱他，
这一切一切，都只有你自己最清楚。

爱上你，我从不后悔。
伤了你，我心痛不已。
看见你，我人似喝醉。
抱着你，我感到安全。
轻吻你，我像在梦里。
牵着你，我倍加自信。
因为还有很多很多的一切，
所以我每天都在努力的爱你一天比一天多，
希望有一天我们可以。。。
爱到老，我的痴人梦。。。

The happiness behind the shame

It was a very tired night and the rain makes me feel extra tired.
Was looking around at the shop lots...
deciding what to eat for dinner.
and we passing by this western restaurant with a guy standing outside of the door.
He try to greet everyone passing by,
just to hopes someone will dine in.
Sometimes certain job is just a bit tough...

When i done with my vegetarian dinner at few doors away from the western restaurant,
we passing by the restaurant again.
But this time is not that guy anymore...
This guy bit shorter compare to earlier one.
He seems a bit uncomfortable when i look at him.
He just feel shame to stand in front of the door but yet... is a part of his job.

His first reaction was avoid my eye sight,
use one of his hand to cover part of his face.
Actually there are a lot of job that you have to overcome the shame you feel.
You need to work for your living.
There are alot of the people have to be thick face or poker face to get their job done.
Sometimes they might loss their friend, or even their pride...
But there are always one thing that we sacrificed and to get what we want.

You will never know what is behind the story.
The guy who shame of his job,
he might enjoy nice dinner with his family when he get his paid.
He might able to send his children to school and see them happy with the study.
You never know what is in return.

Life is just full of surprise and unpredictable...
It might be good and bad at the same times.
Just depends how you want your life to be.
Appreciate the thing you have and you still can hold it now,
no regret when it no longer yours.
But human just greedy... They will hope to have it forever.
Just like me, i do hope the love towards me is forever and ever...

Daddy i love u and i miss u so much ...

Hi Dad,
guess this is the only way i can tell the words i wanted to tell you.
Your daughter still a fool,
even i know this way can't reach you but i still did...
I know you watching us at heaven now.

My life is quite messy recently.
Hope mama will not worry about me too much.
She getting older and it shows on her face.
Still remember tomorrow is your birthday.
Maybe because i fall sick and laying on the bed alone in the room,
all the memories showing in my head.

Remember how i surprise you and mama during birthday.
As well as father's day and mother's day.
But so sad that i can't give you the last father's day present.
I should show you earlier before you leave me.
I not filial. I accidently throw the father's day present.
But dad, not to worry about me.
I have take off the necklace which with your ring as pendant.

I try to be tough. i try not to cry when i miss you.
Just notice that long time i didn't visit you.
your face is slowly faded in my mind...
i was so worry one day my memories also faded.

I'm sorry dad.
I can't visit you on your birthday this year.
I fall sick, i try to go back but i can't.
Is a heart broken night, daddy.
Hopes you can hold my hand to sleep tonight.

我怀念的。。。Something i miss

怀念的

是你曾经的温柔

是你那细心的呵护

是你把我捧在手心的疼爱

是你凡事都为我的着想

是你对我从不吝啬的拥抱

是你好不保留的心

是你那温暖的轻吻

是你早上露出最真诚的微笑

是你对我在爱情的坚定

是你给我的安全感

是你努力的实现对我的承诺

是你想要和我过一生的冲动

是我们网上无所不谈的聊天

是我们一起买家庭用品的心甜

是我们一起享用我煮的晚餐

是我们两人呆在一起没事做却很快乐的时候

是我们没有隐瞒的分享着我们的事

是我们不分开的拥抱入睡

是我们离别时那种不舍的拥抱

是我们看着对方那充满爱的眼神

是我们睡醒时的拥抱和贴心的轻吻

是我们梦想着我们的未来

是我们还有很多很多还没一起做的事

我每天都在用这些怀念，

让爱可以走得更遥远。

我只害怕有一天，

这么的一切一切，只变成了回忆里的怀念。。。

LiL escape...

Sitting at the place that i used to work for past 4 years.
Looking at the clock tickling,
Air cond blowing at cathay pacific aircraft balloon,
counting the days on calendar,
I going to leave soon...

Since the day i step in this office,
i never expect i will leave one day,
but it still happened.
There are alot of the memories with different people i met.
I learn alot from them,
i became who i can't expect to be...

My life have changed.
From busy running around whole day,
to sitting at office and writting blog post.

Really Thanks for all the family and friends who support me,
not to worry about me.
I will be tough, i will stand still,
i will get a better job and you know im tough as you think.

But before that,
please allow me to have a lil escape from this reality world.
Looking forward my Bangkok trip which the 1st time i go alone.
It should be quite fun to walk around and snap pictures.
I wish i can do it often but i guess i need to get more money.

Reality world is just cruel to us.
Be hardworking together and achieve our dreams, my friends...