如何衡量爱？

爱，如何去衡量？
有的人会说，他们爱他的另一半比较多。
有的人却说，他们的另一半爱他们较多。
到底哪一个情况会较幸福呢？
很多人在这样的问和想。

其实啊，很多人都很享受爱的过程。
其实，不管是你爱着他，或他爱着你，
谁爱谁比较多，其实能爱上一个人，可以相爱，
不就已经是一种幸福了吗？

能为你爱的人而努力、付出，你不觉得开心吗？
当你爱上了，
很自然的，你会想为他分担、一起努力、为他付出，
让他充满着笑容和欢乐。
看到这一些，你不就已经很满足和开心了吗？

既然你决定了去爱他，就不要计较。
可能有时候很难办到吧。
可是，当你想想。。。
你和他一起经过的日子里，
你为他付出和做了些什么，你真的还能记得吗？
因为我们从心里全心全意的付出，而不是期望回报。
既然这样，你又怎么还算的了呢？

可是，他为你所做的事其实你都知道。
可是人啊，有时候总会不自觉的想要更多。
回想起来，其实是否自己开始贪心，
而忘了他所为你做过的事呢？

有的人，因为他们有条件选择，
他们开始衡量谁会为他们付出较多。
想想这一切，如果你不爱那个人，
他能为你付出一切，甚至生命。
你觉得你选了和他一起，但并不是因为爱。。
你会幸福吗？

人啊都是感情动物，都是感性的。。。
很多人因为适应了或习惯了那种生活，
就算他们明白这不是他们要的，
可是他们却走不出那个习惯的圈子。害怕去改变
不止发生在感情，
其实在工作上，我可就是一个好例子。。。

其实，本人很喜欢王菲的执迷不悔。。
还记得有几句歌词很有意思。。
‘这一次我执着面对，任性的沉醉，
我并不在乎，这是错还是对。
别说我应该放弃，应该睁开眼。
我用我的心，去看、去感觉。
你并不是我，又怎能了解。’
有些事情啊，真的没人比你自己清楚，
你爱的是谁，你有多爱他，
这一切一切，都只有你自己最清楚。

爱上你，我从不后悔。
伤了你，我心痛不已。
看见你，我人似喝醉。
抱着你，我感到安全。
轻吻你，我像在梦里。
牵着你，我倍加自信。
因为还有很多很多的一切，
所以我每天都在努力的爱你一天比一天多，
希望有一天我们可以。。。
爱到老，我的痴人梦。。。

The happiness behind the shame

It was a very tired night and the rain makes me feel extra tired.
Was looking around at the shop lots...
deciding what to eat for dinner.
and we passing by this western restaurant with a guy standing outside of the door.
He try to greet everyone passing by,
just to hopes someone will dine in.
Sometimes certain job is just a bit tough...

When i done with my vegetarian dinner at few doors away from the western restaurant,
we passing by the restaurant again.
But this time is not that guy anymore...
This guy bit shorter compare to earlier one.
He seems a bit uncomfortable when i look at him.
He just feel shame to stand in front of the door but yet... is a part of his job.

His first reaction was avoid my eye sight,
use one of his hand to cover part of his face.
Actually there are a lot of job that you have to overcome the shame you feel.
You need to work for your living.
There are alot of the people have to be thick face or poker face to get their job done.
Sometimes they might loss their friend, or even their pride...
But there are always one thing that we sacrificed and to get what we want.

You will never know what is behind the story.
The guy who shame of his job,
he might enjoy nice dinner with his family when he get his paid.
He might able to send his children to school and see them happy with the study.
You never know what is in return.

Life is just full of surprise and unpredictable...
It might be good and bad at the same times.
Just depends how you want your life to be.
Appreciate the thing you have and you still can hold it now,
no regret when it no longer yours.
But human just greedy... They will hope to have it forever.
Just like me, i do hope the love towards me is forever and ever...

Daddy i love u and i miss u so much ...

Hi Dad,
guess this is the only way i can tell the words i wanted to tell you.
Your daughter still a fool,
even i know this way can't reach you but i still did...
I know you watching us at heaven now.

My life is quite messy recently.
Hope mama will not worry about me too much.
She getting older and it shows on her face.
Still remember tomorrow is your birthday.
Maybe because i fall sick and laying on the bed alone in the room,
all the memories showing in my head.

Remember how i surprise you and mama during birthday.
As well as father's day and mother's day.
But so sad that i can't give you the last father's day present.
I should show you earlier before you leave me.
I not filial. I accidently throw the father's day present.
But dad, not to worry about me.
I have take off the necklace which with your ring as pendant.

I try to be tough. i try not to cry when i miss you.
Just notice that long time i didn't visit you.
your face is slowly faded in my mind...
i was so worry one day my memories also faded.

I'm sorry dad.
I can't visit you on your birthday this year.
I fall sick, i try to go back but i can't.
Is a heart broken night, daddy.
Hopes you can hold my hand to sleep tonight.

我怀念的。。。Something i miss

怀念的

是你曾经的温柔

是你那细心的呵护

是你把我捧在手心的疼爱

是你凡事都为我的着想

是你对我从不吝啬的拥抱

是你好不保留的心

是你那温暖的轻吻

是你早上露出最真诚的微笑

是你对我在爱情的坚定

是你给我的安全感

是你努力的实现对我的承诺

是你想要和我过一生的冲动

是我们网上无所不谈的聊天

是我们一起买家庭用品的心甜

是我们一起享用我煮的晚餐

是我们两人呆在一起没事做却很快乐的时候

是我们没有隐瞒的分享着我们的事

是我们不分开的拥抱入睡

是我们离别时那种不舍的拥抱

是我们看着对方那充满爱的眼神

是我们睡醒时的拥抱和贴心的轻吻

是我们梦想着我们的未来

是我们还有很多很多还没一起做的事

我每天都在用这些怀念，

让爱可以走得更遥远。

我只害怕有一天，

这么的一切一切，只变成了回忆里的怀念。。。

LiL escape...

Sitting at the place that i used to work for past 4 years.
Looking at the clock tickling,
Air cond blowing at cathay pacific aircraft balloon,
counting the days on calendar,
I going to leave soon...

Since the day i step in this office,
i never expect i will leave one day,
but it still happened.
There are alot of the memories with different people i met.
I learn alot from them,
i became who i can't expect to be...

My life have changed.
From busy running around whole day,
to sitting at office and writting blog post.

Really Thanks for all the family and friends who support me,
not to worry about me.
I will be tough, i will stand still,
i will get a better job and you know im tough as you think.

But before that,
please allow me to have a lil escape from this reality world.
Looking forward my Bangkok trip which the 1st time i go alone.
It should be quite fun to walk around and snap pictures.
I wish i can do it often but i guess i need to get more money.

Reality world is just cruel to us.
Be hardworking together and achieve our dreams, my friends...

What a Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year should be a happy period for most of the people.
But i have seen some of them don't really like it,
cause they lost the person who suppose to be together.
Which is quite sad.

Not sure what is the feeling of happy reunion anymore...
I'm a bit lost, a bit of confuse and a bit of upset.
Our family is quite special,
We don't have to spend so many days to visit here and there,
we only need a day or two.

Can't remember since when we not visit the relatives at my dad side anymore.
I don't get to know their recent life,
Don't know where they are and so do them.
We just like totally lost contact but ...
We are all still in a small town, Which is Seremban.

Not sure what the issue lead us to this line,
but is really sad when think back.
Chinese New Year become more and more boring to me.
I'm getting older? I need a new start? or i'm just bored of human being?
I just don't like the feeling staying at home alone,
facing my laptop and i can't do anything.
Its so empty, lonely and sad.

Still remember a nice nick from my friend,
he said to me that im actually a tough bitch.
Wonder i should laugh or should angry.
He told me that i take alot of the responsible on my shoulder,
hide alot of things in the heart.. and i have a poker face.
The smiling face with the crying face at the back...

Just simply ...

As usual, same person - me,

same pet - fei po and bit bit ..

same environment - in my room..

still same.. do nothing ... ZzZZzzz

Maybe is a good time to sit down alone in the room..

looking at my 2 cutie furs.. sleeping next to me..

thinking of those old days..

its just like movie... every scene flash out in the head...

Can't believe that im 28 this year.

Time flies... what i have done and what i got?

Nothing... this is the answer and is quite tough for me to answer..

Seems like my life is really waste of time..

Follow my heart, do whatever i like?

No matter right or wrong, cause there are very hard to categorize them?

What is in your mind when you have a sleepless night

but still... you have to sleep through ..

Will your memories taste sweet or bitter?

People always said sleepless night is a long lonely night..

but i guess is not apply on me..

Why?

Because i heard snoring when i feel moody and YES! is my fei po !

I just love my cats..

No matter how emotional im, they are still there as usual..

sitting next to me,

miao at me,

be by my side... =)

Just like my family.

Feeling the pain of my teeth cause i put on my retainer.

but it doesn't distract me from the heart aching.

Can i sleep through the pain tonight?

Let's have a try ... wish me have a good night sleep =)