I'm now staying alone with 2 cats in a friend house.
Really appreciate on the help and happy to have true friends.
Is a rainy day, but i do nothing and just chill at home.
Staying with 2 of my cats,
was clearing my black head for an hour,
followed by a cold hydrating mask.
Oh my ~! Have been long time never enjoy this kind of lifestyle.
A fully rest and enjoy saturday for me.
Lazy to go out stuck in the busy commercial life,
yet enjoying my Saturday by do nothing,
but enjoying the cozy day.
Sometimes we are too busy to achieve and getting what we want.
But i believe a day of do nothing is a best day as well.
At least you get to rest your mind, soul and body as well.
Sometimes i do really need something like this to re-charge,
and continue to start fight for my future again.
Was still thinking the opportunity to oversea.
Should i leave or should i stay ?
Seriously i was hoping for this so long,
and now i got a chance and maybe not 100% but at least i can try.
I'm seriously tired and feel so miserable of all these days.
I'm quite lost but yet i still can see my direction covered by the thick haze.
I still no the same path but i do need a brand new start.
I do really hope i can get away from here,
have a brand new start.
Start at somewhere nobody knows me,
totally a new environment and culture to me.
With no limitation on the creativity.
To explore and wonder more and more which i never had before.
Even though i'm alone but i never scare.
All i want now is just that simple.
Maybe the only way to keep yourself happy is 'be simple'.
Maybe in our life we have too much things beyond control.
As i always said,
"We can't choose who we falling in love with,
but we can choose who to share our life with."
Feeling is very subjective and uncontrollable.
But sometimes we do need to back in the reality,
think rationally and logically, what's the next step to go.
We can't predict the future, but instead of waiting it to happen,
why don't i make a step to something under my control and manageable?
There is a voice always remind me when i wake up,
"Hey! you make a mistake. Get things right!"
Where did the voice come from?
Why it keep repeating in my mind?
The voice from guiltiness?
Guess i'm seriously not as cruel as what you see.
i'm blaming myself on the mistake everyday.
Most important, i'm worry at the same time.
I know myself well and it will become worse.
There is a never change theory in my mind set,
which is "You own it or you leave it!"
There is not 'sharing' in certain thing of my life.
If i can't own then i will choose to leave.
Should said, i shouldn't own in the first place if is not belongs to me.
But, i can still choose the journey i going on the next.
Sad yet helpless, and that is the way i should be.
Sometimes when you want to achieve something,
you have to pay with something else.
If i choose a brand new start,
and i going to pay with everything i have for now.
Does it worth?
Sometimes i have no choice if i did a mistake,
and guess this the only way to makes thing right.
God bless me on the journey i going to start.
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