What a Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year should be a happy period for most of the people.
But i have seen some of them don't really like it,
cause they lost the person who suppose to be together.
Which is quite sad.

Not sure what is the feeling of happy reunion anymore...
I'm a bit lost, a bit of confuse and a bit of upset.
Our family is quite special,
We don't have to spend so many days to visit here and there,
we only need a day or two.

Can't remember since when we not visit the relatives at my dad side anymore.
I don't get to know their recent life,
Don't know where they are and so do them.
We just like totally lost contact but ...
We are all still in a small town, Which is Seremban.

Not sure what the issue lead us to this line,
but is really sad when think back.
Chinese New Year become more and more boring to me.
I'm getting older? I need a new start? or i'm just bored of human being?
I just don't like the feeling staying at home alone,
facing my laptop and i can't do anything.
Its so empty, lonely and sad.

Still remember a nice nick from my friend,
he said to me that im actually a tough bitch.
Wonder i should laugh or should angry.
He told me that i take alot of the responsible on my shoulder,
hide alot of things in the heart.. and i have a poker face.
The smiling face with the crying face at the back...