Daddy i love u and i miss u so much ...

Hi Dad,
guess this is the only way i can tell the words i wanted to tell you.
Your daughter still a fool,
even i know this way can't reach you but i still did...
I know you watching us at heaven now.

My life is quite messy recently.
Hope mama will not worry about me too much.
She getting older and it shows on her face.
Still remember tomorrow is your birthday.
Maybe because i fall sick and laying on the bed alone in the room,
all the memories showing in my head.

Remember how i surprise you and mama during birthday.
As well as father's day and mother's day.
But so sad that i can't give you the last father's day present.
I should show you earlier before you leave me.
I not filial. I accidently throw the father's day present.
But dad, not to worry about me.
I have take off the necklace which with your ring as pendant.

I try to be tough. i try not to cry when i miss you.
Just notice that long time i didn't visit you.
your face is slowly faded in my mind...
i was so worry one day my memories also faded.

I'm sorry dad.
I can't visit you on your birthday this year.
I fall sick, i try to go back but i can't.
Is a heart broken night, daddy.
Hopes you can hold my hand to sleep tonight.

我怀念的。。。Something i miss

怀念的

是你曾经的温柔

是你那细心的呵护

是你把我捧在手心的疼爱

是你凡事都为我的着想

是你对我从不吝啬的拥抱

是你好不保留的心

是你那温暖的轻吻

是你早上露出最真诚的微笑

是你对我在爱情的坚定

是你给我的安全感

是你努力的实现对我的承诺

是你想要和我过一生的冲动

是我们网上无所不谈的聊天

是我们一起买家庭用品的心甜

是我们一起享用我煮的晚餐

是我们两人呆在一起没事做却很快乐的时候

是我们没有隐瞒的分享着我们的事

是我们不分开的拥抱入睡

是我们离别时那种不舍的拥抱

是我们看着对方那充满爱的眼神

是我们睡醒时的拥抱和贴心的轻吻

是我们梦想着我们的未来

是我们还有很多很多还没一起做的事

我每天都在用这些怀念，

让爱可以走得更遥远。

我只害怕有一天，

这么的一切一切，只变成了回忆里的怀念。。。

LiL escape...

Sitting at the place that i used to work for past 4 years.
Looking at the clock tickling,
Air cond blowing at cathay pacific aircraft balloon,
counting the days on calendar,
I going to leave soon...

Since the day i step in this office,
i never expect i will leave one day,
but it still happened.
There are alot of the memories with different people i met.
I learn alot from them,
i became who i can't expect to be...

My life have changed.
From busy running around whole day,
to sitting at office and writting blog post.

Really Thanks for all the family and friends who support me,
not to worry about me.
I will be tough, i will stand still,
i will get a better job and you know im tough as you think.

But before that,
please allow me to have a lil escape from this reality world.
Looking forward my Bangkok trip which the 1st time i go alone.
It should be quite fun to walk around and snap pictures.
I wish i can do it often but i guess i need to get more money.

Reality world is just cruel to us.
Be hardworking together and achieve our dreams, my friends...

What a Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year should be a happy period for most of the people.
But i have seen some of them don't really like it,
cause they lost the person who suppose to be together.
Which is quite sad.

Not sure what is the feeling of happy reunion anymore...
I'm a bit lost, a bit of confuse and a bit of upset.
Our family is quite special,
We don't have to spend so many days to visit here and there,
we only need a day or two.

Can't remember since when we not visit the relatives at my dad side anymore.
I don't get to know their recent life,
Don't know where they are and so do them.
We just like totally lost contact but ...
We are all still in a small town, Which is Seremban.

Not sure what the issue lead us to this line,
but is really sad when think back.
Chinese New Year become more and more boring to me.
I'm getting older? I need a new start? or i'm just bored of human being?
I just don't like the feeling staying at home alone,
facing my laptop and i can't do anything.
Its so empty, lonely and sad.

Still remember a nice nick from my friend,
he said to me that im actually a tough bitch.
Wonder i should laugh or should angry.
He told me that i take alot of the responsible on my shoulder,
hide alot of things in the heart.. and i have a poker face.
The smiling face with the crying face at the back...